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Apathetic Disaffection

by Horst

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1.
first, we crack the shell oh how it pains me to do this witness its dismemberment guilty or innocent one shall fall there's no hope, no hope at all is it courage or fear that compels you you betrayed yourself deeper revelations dawn in calms between storms I fear the wounds are fatal let this mark the end we lose faith our allies turn against us forsake this planet and its people a world I do not know proceed on the way to oblivion off this twisted planet I would have waited an eternity but why throw away life so recklessly? taken refuge in a tomb we cannot find lighten our burden we all must die sometime this is bad comedy fate waylaid us both no light in our darkest hour consort to the darkness
2.
Petrifaction 04:39
alluring false pretenses strategic deceit hypnotic malfeasance imprisoning narcosis no way to escape only muted cries from those confined instantly paralyzed trigger the sinking weightless suspension inwardly shrinking dormant servility formulated unwillingly theft of essence with no acquiescence depart my consciousness to depths dark and bottomless loss of dominance to the somnolence endlessly falling clawing to find direction nothing happens no action only petrifaction fall to the undertow no way to escape accept your fate and watch from below unwilling occupant dark disembodiment forever sentenced bereft of presence can't comprehend no strength to expend just frozen impersonally chosen writhe while immobile no limb is prehensile undone and just numb succumb to the stun agency passing now thrashing, attacking, and lashing nothing happens, no action only petrifaction
3.
forgotten wounds knotted and unhealed halcyon despair only strength is in pain to bear scars over scars scores-of shouldered sores sworn to bitterness in the chalice, so drink deep the body is a temple corporeal divination the sinews disassemble despite its consecration the mind is a fortress that provides no protection hidden fissures line the walls that are just a mere projection no holy remedy no divine intervention finite self-designed misery no great ascension painful sacrament of guilt the most graceful inhabitants wilt as they kneel in ruins of mental undoing cries deafen, silent but resonant ignored anguish distorted growth poisoned waters on the altar of dishonor the body is a temple corporeal divination the sinews disassemble despite its consecration the mind is a fortress that provides no protection hidden fissures line the walls that are just a mere projection bear witness thou shall not see cast your voice thou shall not ascend lament your sins thou shall not heal cast your voice thou shall not rise
4.
arbiter to each affront once anger mounts and patience thins the hunted suffer the brunt of cruel and deadly whims a fog shrouds the hunter's intent deeper truths withheld mental exile dying like a fish in the hands of a child predator to more than prey unnatural laws to obey fear what you don't know the widening void that is your woe insistence to kill masks the guilt you can't hunt what you cant name confused by what ill will built never see who's truly to blame determine who shall be redeemed for the invisible machine resign and reconcile apply the amorphous profile the dream of an idealist or machinations of a masochist the architects are all anonymous unseen aims of subconsciousness not all exploration can be made by foot not all courage is found in arms predator to more than prey unnatural laws to obey fear what you don't know the widening void that is your woe insistence to kill masks the guilt you can't hunt what you cant name confused by what ill will built never see who's truly to blame
5.
monsters below a thin veneer of social convention attempting to obscure a woeful dimension society teeters between the dwindling few who commiserate and those eager to inflame the kindling and to immolate the only need for decency is actually transactional moments of morality are obligatory and contractual empathy exchanged for being part of the majority integrity deranged for a sense of superiority everyone prefers the illusion to despair burying that which is inhuman and fervently putting on airs biases grow social circles constrict alliances go prejudices encircle & convict unwittingly inherited preconceptions define the validity and the merit in the conventions you find repeating reasons like mantras to prove you are right never conceding, no matter the ends, or how bloody the fight egocentric unquestioned defense negates, erases, and replaces the last tatters of compassion eroded, broken, and outmoded civilized society is memberless and forgotten fear hardens into biases until humanity is rotten efforts to unite are exploited as a means to ignite they break free from the hell of the abyss and move silently among us everyone prefers the illusion to despair burying that which is inhuman and fervently putting on airs biases grow social circles constrict alliances go prejudices encircle & convict
6.
uninhabited and unfamiliar exhausted lost and bewildered step forth go inside no recollection of how you arrived mutation of reality mutilation through duality something different lurks beneath the skin now hostage to the madness within division of the self a fault in our genes cells coded to self destruct a living pathology witness your own demise, step away with the same disguise mitosis of consciousness division is the consequence corruption of form echoes of the self you become it it becomes you inhuman representation of what you thought you were living inanimation a shell survives your termination infinite inward spiral birth of wonder and terror confront yourself and not know what you see distortion overpowers it crushes and absorbs fight it and harm yourself destroy it when your features emerge fragmented til no part remains decoalescence divide into nothing decoalescence fragmented til no part remains decoalescence divide into nothing decoalescence monophagic deformity biologic forgery synthetic silhouettes assimilate and disintegrate fragmented til no part remains decoalescence divide into nothing decoalescence fragmented til no part remains decoalescence divide into nothing decoalescence
7.
Dark Odyssey 06:24
go from the vessel now disembark no navigation no stars to chart completely submerged never again to return absence bestows no line to clench there's nothing below in the depths of the trench lost to the eroding tides forfeit to the tumult the passed are the current in a torrent of salt enveloping waters oceans of time completely submerged never again to return dark odyssey amid sunken topography captivity to the whirlpool of infinity adrift and defenseless departed and damned time is endless like grains of sand cast away in the fray from the farthest shore scattered in the abyss on the father's shoulder enveloping waters oceans of time completely submerged never again to return
8.
tumbling further into the madness arms grasping at the void rumbling murmur echoes the vastness collapsing without making a noise slumbering observer to the havoc outlasting all that is destroyed blighted by regret and fear self departure fostering the unknown a yawning emptiness self-suffocated eternally everything turns black the void forms inadvertently there's no turning back abhorrence as a guideline relentless despair preordained stifled lifetime endless years bear the pain all-consuming in the belly of your hate always looming but from the mind it emanates tumbling further into the madness arms grasping at the void rumbling murmur echoes the vastness outlasting all that was destroyed

credits

released December 9, 2020

written and recorded from March 2018 to April 2020
all music, mixing, mastering by Christopher Horst

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Horst Cincinnati, Ohio

Horst is a studio project with musical influences ranging from thrash, doom, power metal, gothic rock, and industrial, with a lyrical focus on the pains of the modern human condition.

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